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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Power And Control


Power and Control Trailer from Peter Cohn on Vimeo.


Please take a moment and watch this. And if you are in a abusive relationship get help! You can even leave me a message and i will do my best to help you. Stay safe. Alexandra Lovechild

Friday, June 18, 2010

Points that should be taken seriously with administrative judges

These talking points were designed for domestic violence advocates and other allies of protective mothers to speak with administrative judges in the hopes of convincing them to use the research contained in the new book to train judges and other court professionals and reform custody practices to improve the safety and
potential of children in domestic violence custody cases. Feel free to use any part of the material in any order that makes sense to support your efforts. Use your own knowledge and concerns and focus the discussion based upon the local circumstances and situations the domestic violence community is concerned with. If you have any questions, you are welcome to contact Barry Goldstein at BarryG78@aol. com The
information in parenthesis at the end of each paragraph are the authors of chapters in the book that provide the information in the paragraph.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Truth About Battered Women And Custody

In no other area of family law are battered women and their children inadvertently subjected to greater physical and emotional harm than in the child custody and visitation context. Battered women are often forced to participate in custody arrangements that require mediation, unsupervised custody and visitation, and
other types of exchanges that leave them and their children vulnerable to continued abuse and control at
the hands of their batterers. Women who try to protect themselves and their children by seeking sole custody or modifications in custody arrangements such as cessation of visitation, supervised visits, or who flee with their children are penalized by having custody taken away and given to their batterers. Despite the perception that mothers always win custody, when fathers contest custody, they win sole or joint custody in 40% to 70% of the cases.1 Indeed, even in cases where abuse is reported, a batterer is twice as likely to win custody over a non-abusive parent than in cases where no abuse is reported. 2 Domestic violence
While there is no uniform law that governs child custody, all states use the same standard in determining custody arrangements, called the “best interest of the child” standard. Under that standard, courts look at a number of factors in determining what type of custody arrangement would best suit the child’s physical, intellectual, moral, and spiritual needs. Most states have separate statutes governing child custody and domestic violence. Although many states require the court to consider domestic violence in making temporary or final custody determinations, others do not. Moreover, a number of state custody
statutes make no mention of domestic violence as a factor to be considered in making custody awards. Of
equal concern are joint custody provisions that do not take into account how domestic violence puts both the
survivor and her child/children at further risk. See the section of this Legal Resource Kit entitled
“State Custody Laws That Consider Domestic Violence” for a complete list of custody statutes in the
different states. Indeed, for the battered woman, the custody and visitation processes often become a means by which a batterer furthers his abuse through attempts to continue to maintain control. Most forms of shared custody and visitation involve some type of proximity or contact between the battered woman and her abuser during the exchange of the child between parents. During these exchanges battered women are often subjected to verbal and physical harassment, stalking, assault, and threats, including the threat of child kidnapping.4 Women who deny visitation or who go to court to request a modification or supervised visitation in order to protect themselves and their children are frequently accused of trying to alienate the
child from the abusive parent.

                            Myths and Facts About Domestic Violence and Child Custody

Violence Against Women Is On The Rise

June 15, 2010
         By Judy Silverclose

The Chicago Tribune says that domestic violence calls to the Indianapolis police department are up 13% this year over last. The Honolulu Advertiser says that Hawaii’s Domestic Violence Action Center is fielding a third more calls this year than last. Rates are up in Arizona and Texas, too. The economy is down; stress and violence are up.  A new Department of Justice study on Domestic Violence and Law Enforcement states that, while over the last decade the percentage of women who call the police after physical assault by an intimate partner seems to be rising from 30 to 60 percent, 40  percent of assaults still go unreported.
If police are called, either by the victim or by a third party (such as a neighbor or hospital) the study says: Researchers found 29% of victims reported “no assault.” Ironically, their alleged assailants were more likely to admit the assaults, with only 19% reporting “no assault”. Law enforcement officers may find that the most severely traumatized victims, behave least, as law enforcement officers expect of them. They may also be the least able to cooperate with law enforcement. Addressing the question of whether arrest is the best response to intimate-partner violence, the report says: Arrest deters repeat abuse, however, all actions taken by responding officers , including providing victims with information pamphlets, taking down witness statements, and helping victims secure protective orders were associated with reduced cases of reoffending abuse.
If an arrest is made, the percentage of cases prosecuted varies wildly, from 46% in Milwaukee to 94% in Cincinnatti, with the average being about 60%. Sometimes police arrest an abuser for a lesser charge (disorderly conduct) instead instead of assault. However, the report warns, reducing  charges to non-assault charges allows convicted abusers to retain firearms otherwise prohibited. One of the most crucial steps to prevent lethal violence is to disarm abusers and keep them disarmed. A commenter on our site, Sheri Ferber, a former member of Rick Warren’s, Saddleback church, was also a victim of Domestic Violence.The story is heartbreaking. Four years ago, [Ferber] approached a Saddleback pastor for protection against her husband, who’d violently attacked her while they were driving home from church. Instead of protecting her, Ferber says, the pastor called her husband to warn him that Ferber had been “gossiping about their marriage.” Ferber, it seems, had run into Saddleback’s teaching that the sanctity of marriage prohibits divorce in all but a few circumstances, and domestic violence is not one of them. Author Kathryn Joyce goes on to explain: Jocelyn Andersen, was severely battered by her assistant pastor husband. She argues that submission teachings don’t create abusers, but allow violent men to justify their abuse as biblical. The real danger, though, is in how the teachings impact devout women, who may conclude they can’t leave their marriages and remain committed Christians. Fortunately, there is evidence of people fighting for change, even in very conservative churches. In fact, the same author, Kathryn Joyce, also wrote on the Saddleback domestic violence issue for Religion Dispatches, where she quotes conservative Christian author Barbara Roberts: “I think Saddleback’s teaching is profoundly and dangerously wrong,” says Roberts, offering them her book’s findings that ,1 Corinthians 7:15-a verse commonly interpreted as applying solely to an unbeliever: Deserting a believing spouse-provides the biblical grounds for abused wives to consider their union nullified. “The key question is not ‘who walked out’ but ‘who caused the separation?’ Of course, many churches already teach that violence abrogates the marital covenant and refer congregants to abuse specialists. And Christians don’t have a monopoly on the issue.  Jewish, Muslim and interfaith women also suffer Domestic Violence. Thankfully, for victims who don’t feel comfortable calling the police, there are trained specialists available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, provides crisis intervention, information, and referrals to shelters and programs. Calls are free, confidential, and anonymous. The Number Is 1-800-799-7233.

The New Agenda welcomes readers who have a background in this area, If you are interested in writing about it, in more detail. Contact us at:  blog@thenewagenda.net.
As “Lived It” said,  may God have mercy on us all.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

What happens in Domestic violence and Child custody, Visitation: The Truth

In no other area of family law are battered women and their children inadvertently subjected to greater physical and emotional harm than in the child custody andvisitation context. Battered women are often forced to participate in custody arrangements that requiremediation, unsupervised custody and visitation, and
other types of exchanges that leave them and their children vulnerable to continued abuse and control at
the hands of their batterers. Women who try to protect themselves and their children by seeking sole custody or modifications in custody arrangements such as cessation of visitation, supervised visits, or who flee with their children are penalized by having custody taken away and given to their batterers. Despite the perception that mothers always win custody, when fathers contest custody, they win sole or joint custody in 40% to 70% of the cases. Indeed, even in cases where abuse is reported, a batterer is twice as likely to win custody over a non-abusive parent than in cases where no abuse is reported.

Ms Magazine article about family court punishing women

How Family Courts Punish Abused Women

May 17, 2010 by R. Dianne Bartlow


“The dirtiest little secret in America” is that family courts, in deciding custody, often wreak devastation upon mothers and children.

Proof That Only A Sicko Would Write about, Believe Or Use Parental Alienation Syndrome

This is researched information, compiled by attorneys, therapists and victims. If you are truly intent on using Mr. Gardner's Parental Ailenation Syndrome against someone in court, perhaps you might want to think twice about what it is you are truly saying. Unless of course your a pedophile, then the only thig you need is prison and castration. These are the facts. These are statements made by Mr. Gardner. Now that you are informed there is no reason to use this theory. And if you still choose to then obviously, you shouldnt be parenting any child.